Wednesday, March 16, 2016

In and Out

The Temptations hit the nail right on the hammer with the classic hit, "Papa Was a Rollin Stone". Decades later, Papa is still rolling. The realities of instability, unfaithfulness, lack of consistency, dedication and strength needed to take care of children we bring into this Earth and the missing concept of not having to take care of the women we impregnate. 

Fatherhood and the presence of men in the home is a topic many would call "taboo" but it's needed. Society, through the media, reflects men as dominating, power hungry, sexual predators and demons all at the same time romanticizing us as the "bad boy" that everyone wants and overshadowing the good guys. There has to come a point in our existence where what we need takes priority over what we want. It can be argued that we want companionship, marriage, partnerships, etc. but it's a fact that children need fathers.  

It's true! Children without father figures are successful and many go on to have beautiful families. I'm a product of it! My parents fathers weren't in their lives but their grandparents were. Still to this day, my father serves as a father figure for the young men on our street and in our community. We have to begin to change the narrative for those without fathers; empowering them with strength to be to their families what was absent for them.

Empowerment changes the narrative, changing it from being another sad story. I don't care what myths, research, urban legends or popular culture has to day, the presence of fathers is needed for our children. If we are bad enough to lay the pipe, then we have to be man enough to build the family that comes from the work! If you aren't ready to work, wrap it up!
Sex is easy but parenting isn't. Men have to understand the power of their presence, their influence and their support. There are no excuses to knowing who your child(ren) are and neglecting to take care of them. Men shouldn't get an easy pass and women don't. It takes two! Challenge the men if your life; family, friends, neighbors, co workers,etc. to take a more active role in their child(ren) life if they don't live with them. We have to begin breaking the cycle. 

Don't assume because they don't live with them they aren't active. Don't deny men their rights to see the child(ren) because they didn't chose you. Don't walk away. Men have to stop turning away from the children they help create. Don't replace the father with inconsistent figures. Don't perpetuate the stereotype. The cycle will never end if we keep creating the same
type of men. 

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